After my last blog post, my dear friend, Clancy, asked, "Are you ok with all of it?" It wasn't until I read her comment that I realized that I completely left my thoughts/feelings out of that blog post, and I'm not sure why.
Maybe it's easier to share news like that without letting emotion get involved. Or maybe, I haven't let myself think about it enough to really know what to say. Or maybe I'm not sure how to put my thought into words.
Of course the decision to sell our house didn't come easily. There was much discussion between about it in our house for months. So while this may come as a shock to some of you, it's not like we didn't see it coming. It was something we knew might be a possibility for a while now. Because of that, the decision was a little easier to make. In fact, making the decision to list our house for sale didn't make me as sad as I thought it would, in some ways, making that decision came as a relief. Like I said, we knew it might be a possibility for a while. So even though this was a house with a hand picked floor-plan and custom interior features, I never really let myself get attached to it. Unfortunately, I can't say the same for the kids.
That's the part that's been hard for me. The kids love it here, especially Jace. (But it isn't the house they're attached to, it's the neighborhood.) He has made so many friends here and loves having most of them close by. He also really loves his teacher and has done really well in kindergarten. I hate to take him away from all of that. Just days after making the decision to sell, I was driving somewhere with the kids in the car and Jace was talking happily about how much fun he had playing with his friend earlier that day. We hadn't told the kids our decision at this point, and thinking about how sad it would make him to leave his friends almost made me start to cry. And maybe if I hadn't been driving at the time, I would have.
Surprisingly, that was the most emotional I've been about all of this so far. But I think that could change when it's actually time to move. For now, a decision has been made, and that's the easy part. I'm sure this won't really feel real until the time comes to move. For now, I kind of have a "we'll cross that bridge when we come to it" mindset. I can't think about it all at once. We don't know when we will actually move, or any of the specifics about it, it's too much to consider. There are too many possibilities and scenarios for me to run through them all right now. It doesn't make sense for me to concern myself with that and worry about what may or may not happen.
I've been trying to stay positive about this and looking on the bright side. For example, at least this made me really clean my house and post pictures of it. That's something I've been meaning to do since we moved in. So, until it's time to move, I'm going to enjoy being here.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
Wow, I can sure relate to so much of that. I am strangely lacking the emotion I would expect about losing our house. But like you, I think I've shut off my emotions until the time comes that we actually move. It is so hard to think of all of the scenarios and where we will go from here. I think I'm just numb to it. Anyway, I'm sorry you have to go through it too.
*she called me, "my dear friend"! Lucky, lucky ME!!*
I am sorry that you have to think about the hard stuff and the sadness it might cause. I'm glad to hear that you're pretty much ok with it, aside from the worry about your kids.
I do know that nothing happens on accident and, hard as things can seem while we're living them, there's ALWAYS a plan that we can see so easily in retrospect. Just pretend that you're looking at it in retrospect and you can now see the plan. Feel that peace. Breathe.
Connie! You are such a bigger woman than I have ever hoped to be. With an attitude like that you will definitely come out on top. And in the end everything will work out... let me know if there is anything I can do.
Kids are great, but they sure make a lot of things harder. They seem to have a direct wire into our emotions, and when they flip the switch it's almost impossible to ignore it. Again, sorry that you have to go through this, but I'm sure everything will turn out alright, and probably even be better. Your kids will be okay too. This will be a learning experience for them and will make them stronger. Besides, they've got a great mom to help them get through it.
Oh boy I'm sorry. But you sure have a great attitude about it.
I hope everything works out for you. Let me know if you need any help or need somewhere for your kids to play, just to have them out of your hair (sometimes it is nice to have them gone for awhile!), because we would be glad to take them!
Post a Comment