Thanks Casey

Last week Casey and I were discussing how I fit in, or to be accurate; don't necessarily fit in, with a group I occasionally socialize with. I was trying to figure out what it is that makes me stand out from others within the group who seem to have been more easily welcomed and acclimated to the group. Don't get me wrong, I'm not treated poorly in this situation, I just don't really feel like I fit in. And I certainly don't think there's anything wrong with standing out or being different. Thus, our discussion wasn't an attempt to see how I could be more like the individuals in this group. That's not what I was after.

And then Casey gave me some clarity on the subject, and probably the best compliment I have ever been given, when he told me that it's because I'm authentic. He's convinced that I threaten them because they're not. Now, I don't know if the latter is true or not, but I hope the first part of what he said is. I don't pretend to like what everyone else in this group likes just to be accepted or more easily included. and I love that, not only does Casey know that about me, but he appreciates it. I also love that I saw that as a compliment. Casey could have told me that I'm the most beautiful person he's ever seen and I would not have been as touched as I was by a simple comment he made about me being authentic. His comment even made me look up the word authentic and here's what I got from dictionary.com: authentic-not false or copied; genuine; real. And that is how and who I try to be.

The purpose of this post is not to brag. And it's not an attempt to gain confirmation about what was said. I simply want to blog this so I will remember it. I want to remember how it feels to receive such a sincere compliment. And how it feels to be complimented on character. And how it feels to have someone know you so well that they see something in you, you didn't even see yourself. And that something they say can mean so much. It's hard to explain but it somehow made me feel vulnerable and empowered at the same time. I don't want to remember this just for my own sake, but I want to remember it so that I will be more giving of sincere, meaningful compliments. Because now I know how touching it is to receive one.

And here's my smiley list for today

1-The squeaky sound of swings at the park mixed with the laughter of children.
2-Picture day at school for Jace
3-Camden's eyelashes. They're so long and soft. Casey once described them as being "camel-like"
4-The passion with which Alek eats a bowl of infant rice cereal and peaches.