The word friend brings so many thoughts to mind, it's hard to decide what to post today. So may fun adventures with friends come to mind, childhood memories and fun times in high school and college gush forth as I think about friends I've had in various stages of life. I've been blessed with many wonderful friends. Many of whom I don't see as often as I'd like, but their friendship still has great meaning in my life.
Then my thoughts turned to family. Often, sibling rivalry interferes with siblings becoming close as friends. But such was not the case for me. My sister Katie and I shared many friends and often played together during our growing up years. We even made it through the teen years without too many major disputes. in fact, we got in more trouble for laughing and being silly than we did for fighting. And the disagreements we did have usually ended in laughter anyway.
This brings me to the final friend-related subject of this post. My own kids. Unfortunately, the automatic friendship that I felt came so easily between Katie and me, hasn't developed between my kids; at least not yet. I often feel like my kids fight ALL DAY LONG! Am I doing something wrong? Is this one of those things that's different for boys than it is for girls? I hear some people say that their kids are best friends and it makes me wonder their secret.
If anyone reading this knows how to nurture friendship between siblings I'm all ears. I really want my kids to be friends. As I found out during my pregnancies that I was having boy after boy after boy, I was genuinely excited for another baby boy to come along every time. I hoped and imagined they would all be friends; little buddies. Hopefully it will still happen. I know they're all quite young which exaggerates their age differences and variety of interests. Hopefully as they grow they will realize what valuable assets they can be to each other and friendships will still develop among them.
As they get older they may have more things in common, which I've found helps dramatically. I made this discovery quite by accident today. Camden and Jace both needed new shoes. They both got the same style of shoe to replace their old shoes. And, amazingly, just having the same shoes has brought them a little closer. Jace actually included Camden in running around trying out their new shoes together. They can both run remarkably faster in the new shoes in case you were wondering...funny how that works.
Hopefully their friendship will continue to grow as they do. I would love to see that happen.
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2 comments:
I think that little boys were made to fight. As time goes on, I am sure it will get better... look at Casey and Randon. You are doing a great job raising 3 boys, that is something most can't.
I know that as parents (moms especially) we tend to worry about everything, but in this case I wouldn't worry if I were you. Kids are funny. And you can't force something like this on them. I think you're absolutely right that as they get older and develop more common interests they'll automatically draw closer together.
While growing up I went back and forth about Jill. I loved her, but there's a 5 year age difference. For many years it didn't seem like we had anything in common other than our family members. But we still managed to have fun together, and it has only gotten better. Jill is one of my closest friends now, besides being my sister. I share everything with her, and we have so much in common now, that I can hardly imagine ever having felt at odds with her. And we fought plenty!
Eric's story was a little different. His mom wanted all her kids to be best friends (like most parents do), but she pushed it too hard. She had 6 kids within 5 years thinking that would help them be closer. It didn't work. If nothing else, they felt resentful that they HAD to do so much together (this doesn't count his twin brother - that's something too different to lump in with everything else). They've gotten better as they've grown up, but they are definitely not as tight as I am with my siblings.
I obviously have no advice based on my own parenting since Emma has no siblings to get along with, but I will say that I would rather her have a sibling or two that she fought with than her having no sibling at all. No matter the relationship there is just so much that can be learned from it. I know every family is different, but I'm sure your boys will continue to get better the older they get. And it seems like you've already seen proof of that with the shoes! So rest easy, and try not to worry so much. You're doing a great job with them.
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